Andiamo: 10/11–Bratislava

We are up and out early. Relatively speaking for us. We had to wait until 7:30 for breakfast, so you know, that put us back a bit. But, heck, we have nothing to do today but drive and spend a few hours wandering around Bratislava – it’s just a stop to break up the drive to Budapest.

Once out on the road it’s an easy 3 hour drive to Bratislava. Straight down the highway that we pick up less than 1 mile from the hotel. Easy. Like that!

The drive is straight through farm land and hillsides. Great road – needs to be at the speeds you can go – construction, but not like in the states where you are backed up for hours, this is just lane changing and moving on. So it’s a breeze to get through to the Slovakian border – where we have to buy a vignette road pass. 10 Euros – that seems to be the “rage” here – we’ll have to buy a pass/sticker for both Hungary and Austria. In a way it’s good – no more tolls – just the sticker. In a way, it’s sort of weird, stickers all over the car, but – heck – when in Eastern Central Europe….

So on we drive, all is well, until the first pit stop where the restaurant and WC are closed, locked up tight. Oops. Next stop – there’s a McDonald’s. Great! Except for the 3 (or maybe 4) buses that have stopped there. Thankfully, I don’t need the facilities, because the woman’s line is 45 minutes long. Ed walks right in. Flashback to concerts of my youth! We sort of wanted coffee, but not with that crowd – so outta there we go. Back to the road!

The next trial and tribulation is that the exit we need to go to Bratislava is closed. What? But just following the detour signs gets us up and around the cloverleaf exit an onto our destination direction pretty easily. Crisis averted!

Navigating into Bratislava is easy – our hotel is outside the old town, and right off a main boulevard, so we get there flawlessly. The reception clerk is adorable – Tomas – and the one who made our reservations 12 months ago, so he actually knows us! He is full of great info – which trams to take, where to go, what will be interesting. He gives a nicer room on the 12th floor with a good view of the city – and it is! Ultra modern hotel and room, beautiful view. Great bargain for 79E including parking, internet and breakfast! With a fabulous panoramic photo of the old town above the bed!

We dump our stuff and head out to old town. Let the aggravation begin! Tomas told us we could take trams 2, 4, 6, or 9 – so we head up the 6 and 9 line. But we end up on the wrong side of the track. So, first we have to figure out the ticket machine – push the ticket button you want first, then put in the money. Ok – that’s done. Then we get on the 6 tram, but going the wrong way. Really? Sigh. So we get off at the first stop and get onto the next tram going the other way – but that one doesn’t work so well either – it turns where it shouldn’t. We ask the driver, who explains we need to take the #3 tram and it will be the 4th tram that comes to this stop – all in Slovakian and hand signals. We’re going on faith here! But then a nice lady comes up to us and tells us that the #4 doesn’t come here and we should get on the #8 with her. She’ll tell us when to get off. Thank you to all the nice locals who treat visitors well! She does in fact guide us off the tram and right at Michael’s Gate which is where our Rick Steve’s walking tour begins. There is a travel God!

Our original plans were to grab some lunch, then wander around the town, and pick up the free walking tour at 3pm. But that gets blown out of the water as we walk down Michalska and the wind is blowing and our ears are freezing and we are guessing the windchill is about 38 degrees! It’s brutal cold! So, we go through the gate – really cool (as in neat) – it’s the only original gate to the town still standing.

Underneath the gate, as you are walking through to town is the 0 KM marker that shows how far everything is from this point in Slovakia.

Michalska is lined with stores and restaurants, we see the chocolate shop (that we consciously avoid) with the cannonball from Napoleon's siege imbedded above the entrance.

It’s time for lunch – we’re cold and hungry and ready to just warm up in some cool little restaurant. The first one we walk past doesn’t do much for us, even though the hawker is quite talkative. We settle on the 2nd one we pass, Segnerova Kuria, even though the hawker is trying to work some other people, but ends up losing them and taking us to his place, up an alley and down 2 flights of stairs.

Good choice! This place is a great little respite, carved out of some cellar, with domed ceilings and lots of ambience.

We order some special menu where we get soup and a main meal at a discount, plus a free strudel! Yes! Strudel! Ed gets chicken noodle soup and I get the cabbage soup with sausage. Oh so good and warming on this freezing cold day. Then for the “main” I have the sheep’s milk cheese gnocchi with bacon (like mac and cheese but better!) while Ed has goulash. Totally rib coating – will help us deal with the weather!

And just when we can’t eat anymore….strudel! OMG – so good, with chocolate drizzled all over the top….too much!

We’re stuffed, and now need to walk off all this food, so we head back out into the bitter weather to finish Rick’s tour. We head to the Town Square, where a mix of architecture greats us – from Gothic to Art Nouveau.

Then on to the Primate’s square where the magistrate’s office is and there is supposedly free wifi (but not working today), but cool architecture around the palace.

Next it is following the whimsical statues around town. The first is the Napoleon soldier figure in the town square. Barefoot and with his hat pulled over his eyes, this is a sardonic depiction the Napoleon’s forces – made to make fun of the occupation.

After Napoleon, we visit Schoner Naci, a poor carpet cleaner who would walk around town offering gifts to women he thought were pretty (Schon is pretty in German, thus the nickname). His statue is right outside his favorite coffee café, the Kaffee Mayer.

Up the street from Schoner Naci is the Cumin, or the peeper. This guy, peeping out of his manhole, is just whimsical – no significant meaning, just a cute statue the town thought would be provocative. Make up your own stories for him!

We then went on the hunt for the Paparazzi, but couldn’t find him. We think he may be somewhere for repairs? Don’t know, but he wasn’t where he was reported to be.

Our walking tour continued on past the National Theater, and then down the Hviezdoslav Square and park.

Its quite pretty with the fall colors, but it is also quite cold and blustery – and we’re about ready to pack it in. But, we keep persevering and make it to the Danube for the obligatory picture of the UFO bridge.

Not the most attractive thing we’ve seen, and certainly not a match for the surrounding old town…but hey, that’s the communist way – it was built during the oppression…and supposedly locals aren’t so fond of what it stands for.

Can’t say we blame them!

So – we’re done with the tour – now all we want is to get back to the hotel to warm up. Easier said than done! The 6 tram (which should take us back to the hotel) is right on the street at the UFO tower.

Cool. So we go to buy tickets. First problem. Only exact change. We don’t have exact change. Argh. Off we go, in the wind and the spitting rain to this café we had passed on the square above the street. Not a good situation. I just want change for a 2 Euro. Not happening, so Ed intelligently orders an espresso to go – knowing we’ll get change from that. Yes, and no. Had to wheedle coins out of the cashier. Got 5’s and 10’s but only begrudgingly. We’ve got it though!

So, back we go to the ticket machine, which has to be hit occasionally to get the coins to go in. Oy! But we finally score our 70 euro cent tickets and then wait for the 6 tram. But as we are standing there, we notice some sign that says something about the 6 tram, and possibly not running? No English so we’re out of luck there. We are debating ditching the tram and going for a taxi (but they are notorious at ripping you off) when a tram comes into view. Yay! Everyone hops off, we hop on. But we’re alone. Ed validates his ticket and the conductor/driver is yelling at us. Oops. We go have our pigeon English/Slovak/Sign language talk – show him the stop we need, he signs out that we need to take the 1 tram over there (there? where?) and the get on the 4 tram. Um, yeah, thanks, no way jose! But thanks for the ideas!

Stranded at the bottom of Old Town, we head to the Carlton hotel in hopes of an English speaker. We get lucky with the reception desk and they explain there is construction on the tram line and we need to walk up to the end of town to catch the trams. Oh, OK, we get it! She gives us directions, which we (meaning I) mess up one, and have to backtrack when the sidewalk is closed, but finally end up finding the stupid 4 and 9 tram and make our way back to the hotel without further incident. Argh. Frustrating day!

Back in warmth and comfort, we go to the gym to decompress, shop at the grocery store in the bottom of the mall connected to the hotel (really cheap beer and wine!) then head to the brewpub across the street for dinner (i.e., snacks coz we're still stuffed from lunch).

Good choice as there are plenty of good carb free snacks – I get the Antipasti platter and Ed gets sausages with cheese and brined pickles…