The captain has said he wants to get into port early to avoid strong winds – and he does just that. We’re inside the breakwater at about 5:30 am, so when we finally roust ourselves out of bed at 6:30, we’re hard alongside. No need to hurry today. We have a car booked at 8:30 and it’s a quick walk to the rental office. So we do our thing and then head outside around 8:00. We are still early (what a surprise!), and we great the rental car agent as he opens up.
Signed, keyed and ready to go – we cross the street to the car watching the monstrous traffic jam all around us. Yikes! This could be ugly. Our plans today are to go to Cefalu, a town of narrow medieval streets and historic sights. It’s built right on the sea with a backdrop of those huge, craggy limestone cliffs. It is supposed to be quite photographic and ancient, and we thought it would be a good day’s excursion.
We find the car, get chastised by a woman who wants our parking spot for not speaking Italian (I told her I’m trying to learn!), and finally are out on the road – in the midst of the crazy, wicked traffic. OMG. We have to make a u-turn – always lovely – but at least it’s fairly easy to do on the main street – seems they have set up the grid to allow specific places for u-turns. Once headed in the right direction, the fun begins. Holy cow, I have no idea how Ed is doing this. These Sicilians are crazy. They make their own lanes, they move around at will, regardless of who or what is in the lane they want – oh – and have I mentioned the motor scooters and motor bikes? They just zoom around in between, in front of, all around where ever the hell they want to go. Taking a left? No problem – they just zoom right in front of you to turn. I’ll repeat….OMG.
Fortunately, we only have to stay on the one road by the water to get out of town and onto the Autostrada. Unfortunately this road is so clogged with traffic it is impossible to navigate. We move inches at a time, Ed skillfully navigating around the bikes, the cars crowding us, the trucks just stopping willy-nilly on the side of the road, the vegetable stands that protrude out into the travel lanes. It’s a nightmare. And it’s slow, slow, slow! We’ll never make it to Cefalu, which is purported to be 45 minutes away.
Well, it takes 45 minutes to get through the traffic, through the freaky traffic circle where the semi tractor trailer tries to nail us, and finally onto the A19. I’m stressed and I am only the navigator! Phew, finally onto the highway – which is smooth as silk, but also windy as, well, I don’t know what. A hurricane? Yeah, that’s probably what it is like, the trees are almost bending to the ground the wind is so strong. We’re in one of those teeny little Panda cars and Ed is hanging onto the wheel like no tomorrow – otherwise we’re in the guardrail. This day is definitely not starting out well!
On top of it all, it is sort of raining and there is no windshield washing fluid. Oh lovely. So, we stop for a pit stop and buy another bottle of water, just in case we need it for the windshield. After being blown back to the car, we continue on to Cefalu.
There landscape is lovely, farmland, coastal views and snow on the mountains!!!! Yes, snow!!
It’s easy once we are on autostrada, and even when we get off on the Cefalu exit, it’s still pretty straight forward. The road isn’t too bad, right along the coast, and then into the town. You can catch glimpses of the town and it looks really neat – built out on a promontory and up against the craggy limestone hills – with a castle of something way up top. We don’t really have a destination, just read to park along Via Roma in the free spots, or in the pay parking that is located at 2 ends of the street. Well….parking in Cefalu is next to impossible. The little streets are impossibly narrow and cars are stuffed everywhere. Oh, and they stop everywhere too. You just sit in the street, waiting for whatever has stopped the traffic to leave – and then 5 minutes (10 minutes) later, the traffic moves. It is crazy! We drive down Via Roma – not a space to be had.We circle around and find tons of parking down by the beach, but we’re a long way away from the old town. We circle again – still nothing on Via Roma. We do find what we think to be the entrance to the old town – but again – no parking. So at this point? We’ve had it. Done. Basta. Lista. Finito
We are heading in the right direction – out of town! So, we keep going – back up the coastal road an onto the A19. The only stops we make are to go to the restroom – and even that is a bust. There are tons of people in the Autogrille and it’s hard to find the bathroom and the wind is so bad – done. Back in the car, back to Palermo.
Autostrada is ok, except for the one time when I become Peyton Manning screaming “hurry, hurry, hurry” (should have just screamed “Omaha, Omaha”, Ed would have gotten it) as a tractor trailer comes over into our lane to avoid a truck on the shoulder – didn’t look, didn’t care, I just see his tire in my window and scream!
Of course the return trip through the city is equally as frustrating. It seems like a straight shot, but the traffic, again, is ridiculous. We get off the highway and get stopped on the main road. Just cars, and trucks and pedestrians, all fighting for the same space. Oh and those darn motor scooters. It takes us almost 1/2 hour to just get through town on the main street. The rental office closes at 1 until 3;30 – and we’re worried we might not make it, that’s how long this is taking. Then stupid Alice takes us on this little teeny we think one-way street to turn down another teeny one-way street to get to the stupid rental agency. No! Stop! Ed backs up – goes back up the one-way street then we navigate without dumbo Alice to the main avenue on the port and somehow successfully dump the car on the corner where the office is located. Ack.
To add insult to injury, the rental guy takes forever to check the car in, so it’s close to their 1pm closing time by the time we get out of there. We’re ready for alcohol!
We head into the main part of town, and find a nice little restaurant on the way where we ask for beer and wine – and the toilet! Beer and wine comes (wine is a pathetic pour) and we decide to get a snack – antipasti caldo. Hot antipasti, no explanation, well, it’s all freaking potatoes and aroncini. Now I’m totally in a mood! Not to mention the price. Cozy place – but you know – we’re in Italy and I just want good Italian food and reasonably price beer and wine, like we’ve had all over the place. Not here – and not now!
Since it is still a bit early, we don’t want to go back to the ship and decide to walk off our frustration by finding the cathedral we drove past. It’s a little bit further walk than we expected, but it is a beautiful square with the Cathedral San Dominica and the fountain/statue.
Plus, one of the ‘historic’ markets is right there, so we at least get to spend some time walking through the market, looking at the beautiful vegetables – and the artichokes! Everywhere, artichokes. Yum.
Heading back to the ship, we sort of wander through the back streets until we get to the coast road, then hoof it back to the ship and try to relax and de-stress the afternoon away onboard.
In all the cities, and all the ports, and all the times we’ve been in Europe, and Ed has driven in Europe, this has been the absolute worst. Worst driving, worst drivers (Ed says they are like motorized animals), and honestly? Worst city we’ve visited –particularly on this cruise. Oh well – at least it was only one day – and one bum port out of virtually all our cruising isn’t all that bad really.
Fortunately, I’m small, and I’m fast – so I make it back to row 10 without too many elbow gut punches. Of course I’m sardined in between Mr. businessman and his huge computer bag, and Mr. Forest Ranger guy – who is very nice but who’s head I’m going to take off when I get the suitcase down from the overhead. He’s got a connection, and I feel bad for pushing back to him, but truly, I’m not going to make the difference in his catching his flight.
