Navigating our way through the shopping street and the rain drops, we follow Sangeeta back to the bus (with Bhanu always bringing up the rear, ensuring none of us get separated and left behind). As we are waiting for everyone to congregate at the end of the walk, the guy who cleared out the royal baths comes up to Maggi and says, “Hi, remember me? I helped at the baths.” Yes, we remember you. Then he goes on to chat a bit more, and we can’t decide if he is a truly a guide, some random guy who likes to help tourists or a tout looking for a handout. Really interesting, but as he never asks for anything and doesn’t really pester us (especially with Sangeeta standing right there), we can’t quite figure out who/what he is. I’m leaning toward tout – or wanna be guide who wants to solicit his services! But no matter, because, we’re off before he can say any more.
Back on the bus, it is a bit of a drive to Pashupatinath, the open air cremation site, so on the way Sangeeta talks to us more about the Newar people who inhabit Bhaktapur. She talks about how a girl gets married 3 times in her life; First between 3 and 6 years old, she is married to a “woody apple” called a bel or marmela, which represents Shiva. Second, when she is between 7 and 12 years old, she marries the sun god which is when she is kept in a dark room for 1 week while her family dances and looks at the horoscope to determine the best time to come out of the room. The final marriage is to a man, and completely arranged. The girl is told about the man, and if he sounds good, then she is shown a picture. If the picture is acceptable, they see each other from a distance (they tell the boy where she is and he goes to see her from afar). The ritual says that the bridegroom gives the bride 2 betel nuts (which is a Newar tradition), if the bride keeps them, it is a marriage, but if she gives one back it's a divorce. Traditions.
Now we are at the cremation site, where we have to walk down the opposite side of the river to view the services. As tourists, we aren't’ allowed on the side of the river where the cremations are actually happening, but that’s probably a good thing, because it is really a powerful thing to see bodies being burned – even at this distance. There are many cremation platforms, or ghats, placed along the river Bagmati (which flows into the Ganges), but mostly only the covered ghats are being used today due to the rain. The process for the ceremony starts with 13 days of mourning, then a big feast. The body is brought here to the temple area, washed in the river, then taken to a ghat for the cremation. In some cases, a person on their death bed can actually come here and stay in the white building behind the ghats, until they die, then the washing and cremation process begins. The people who come for the cremation ceremony are virtually all men, because in old society, a woman’s worth was a reflection of her husband, and once the husband died, they were not treated well. Many women who came to their husband’s cremation were so distraught, they threw themselves on the cremation pyre, thus, it was determined women would stay home for this ceremony. And even though the dogma has changed in today’s world, the ceremony is still mostly populated by men.
We watch from across the river as one after another body is burned, and then the “ghat handlers” (I have no idea what else to call them) clean the ashes off the ghat, preparing it for the next person. I can’t recall if the “handler” places the ashes in the water or the family, but I tend to think it is the family who does that – plus there are instances when they take the ashes to the Ganges to spread as well.
Walking further into the complex, we climb up to the Pandra Shivalya, a series of votive shrines with lingas to honor the dead. The shrines themselves are a site to behold, set against a back drop of graduated white marble steps climbing up the ridgeline, and standing like guardians above the river, overlooking the body washing area. Standing before the shrines, watching the washing and body transfer process is an incredibly moving and eye-opening, if not somewhat disturbing, experience, and well worth braving the rain and cold temperatures. As we leave, we experience a more lighthearted moment as we are greeted, and given a cute farewell from monkeys playfully running up and down the steep stairs behind us. Retracing our route back to the bus, we continue to watch the fires burning across the river, thinking about the so many differences in our cultures.
Our next stop is a bit more uplifting, as we are heading to the great white Boudha stupa, one of the world’s largest stupas. And large it is! It is massive, sitting in the middle of a huge plinth, the huge white spherical stupa is topped by the traditional gold embellished square tower, adorned with thousands of prayer flags (the higher the flags are flown, the further the wind will take the prayers) and those Nepalese eyes that are painted on each side of every stupa (they signify the “all-seeing” ability of Buddha). The white washed walls surrounding stupa base have close to 150 sets of prayer wheels in recessed alcoves, making a pilgrimage around the stupa to turn all the wheels a real adventure. The original stupa was built in the 600 or 700s, as legend has it, built as an act of penance by a king who accidently killed his father. The original stupa was destroyed in the Mughal wars, but rebuilt again after the 14th century. Initially situated on the Kathmandu-Tibet trade route, today the stupa is surrounded by a brick courtyard hemmed in by brick buildings containing all manner of tourist offerings – from souvenir shops to hostels to restaurants, cafes, bars and artistic “schools” (where most of our group visited) – and while picturesque, is a far cry from it’s original setting between the rivers and along the paths of the traders.
While the rest of our crew goes off to see how mandalas are hand crafted, we go in search of libations and find the perfect spot in the Boudha Stupa restaurant and cafe, situated on a rooftop overlooking the stupa. I climb the 3 floors of stairs to ensure the bar is open and has beer and white wine, then holler down to the rest of the gang to come on up. Even though the view is awesome, we settle into the indoor restaurant area to avoid the cold and the rain, enjoying our afternoon beverages and our waiter who is loquacious, and wants to tell us all about guests who have taken him traveling all over the country, and his plans to become a tour guide. He also shows me the kitchen area where they are making Momos, and tells me I can help if I want – which is sweet, but I decline, I’m much happier watching through the window as these experts speed roll and wrap the dumplings in preparation for dinner service.
Hydrated (haha) and warm, we brave the cold wetness to continue our clockwise circuit around the stupa to re-meet our group at the entrance to the courtyard. The bus ride back is nice and warm inside, but oh, the roads! Where yesterday it was a dust filled mess requiring masks to venture out, today it is a mud-fest! The roads are just drenched with pools of water everywhere, cars getting stuck and just general messiness. The poor scooter drivers/riders are soaked, even with their overflowing ponchos. We are very glad to be warm and dry and chauffeured everywhere today!
Tonight we have dinner with the group, so we don’t need to worry about venturing out in the wet on our own. The dinner is held at the Kaiser Cafe, inside the Garden of Dreams. We are seated in our own private room, decorated in a very colonial style, and served a great meal of soup, chicken salad and steak (for me and Richard) or fish (for Maggi and Ed) – and yummy desserts that look like they came from the fanciest French pastry maker. The gardens are lit as we leave, making for some wonderful photos and romantic strolling as we slowly make our way back to the bus.
Later, back at the hotel, we want to have a nightcap, but since we all have beer and wine, we don’t necessarily want to go to the bar. We figure we can sit in the lobby with our drinks, but no, we are summarily chased out of there (nicely, but nonetheless) by the desk attendants. Maggi has spied the conference rooms on level 2, so we make our way there and set up in the empty room where Maggi reminisces about her college days and a concert and conference room escapade, while we try very hard not to make too much noise and get kicked out all over again! Hey, its the BS Adventure Team, what do you expect?
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