Monday, May 21, 2012

6 days at sea aboard the SS Old Folks’ Home

Ahhh….Holland America and a trans-Atlantic cruise.  We knew to expect an older than average crowd, we knew to expect musical entertainment that wouldn’t be geared to our tastes (even though we’re pretty flexible in our likes and dislikes), we knew to expect canes and walkers and wheelchairs and scooters…but oh my!  This is truly like a floating retirement home (for all the Stevens family reading this blog – seriously – it’s Beatty Pointe on the sea).

So – what have our 6 days alone out here in the Atlantic with the geriatric set been like?  Well, honestly, it’s been quite relaxing.  The seas have been calm, the weather cloudy and chilly the first few days, now sunny and windy – but bearable outside if you can escape the wind.  The food has been excellent (OMG, softshell crab sandwich for lunch – no kidding!), shows quite good – even a comedian who was actually funny – and not old folks and cruise line jokes funny either – the staff is great, the ship a perfect size – just small enough to be intimate, but large enough to be able to move about and escape if you want.

And, well, the people.  What can we say. It’s a people watching opportunity of a lifetime.  The positives: 

1) The buffet is not a zoo at lunch, because of course, they all eat in the dining room. 

2) Anytime dining (on HAL it’s “As you wish”) is never an issue because we like 7:45 – the dining room is basically empty because everyone else eats at 5:30.

3) No annoying disco blasting music all night long.

4) No long lines at the teeny but well equipped gym (although there was once when all 4 treadmills were taken).

The negatives:

1) Trying to navigate around all the canes, walkers and wheelchairs and the slow pokes at the buffet who pick out each fruit individually from the fruit medley tray.

2) Getting coffee in the morning (see #1)

3) No annoying disco blasting music all night long (heck no disco period, although they do have something called dance the night away in one of the bars that starts at 11PM, really?  There isn’t anyone awake at 11pm on this ship, they barely make it through the late show.  There isn’t any party band either – they have the worst band we’ve ever heard – they try – but the “dancing through decades” party which actually included the 70’s as a decade – much to our surprise – confirmed our worst fears – it wasn’t karaoke – it was the band!)

4) Finding people to talk to that can hear you across the table at dinner (the 2-tops are close enough to talk, but not close enough if you get my drift) or across the bar at happy hour.

OK – so, the negatives really aren’t that many.  My toes have managed to stay intact and non-bloody for the entire 6 days (I only have sandals to wear – casual and dress) and most everyone is very sweet. Just very geriatric. We’ve come up with a new definition of youth for the youth activity director (honestly – they have one aboard) – on this cruise youth is considered 60 – 70, then the middle schoolers would be 70-75 and the seniors 75+.  Hey – it works, and it would give the poor bored youth director something to do!  The Cruise Director stopped by at the theater one night to say hello and tell us that he and the staff have nicknamed us the “kids” – they talk about us and tell each other – oh – I saw the kids today at….!  What a hoot we love it!

The cruise has been lovely and relaxing so far – we hang out everyday and read and people watch. We’ve learned age does not equal taste (formal night:  a true lesson in what is NOT age appropriate attire – gold lame tiger stripe spandex barely covering the bottom of what we are sure was a septuagenarian – and at check-in, the infamous “Hat Lady” – floppy hat sitting cockeyed upon a messy bun, make up smeared like she had just woken up from a bender, skin tight white halter dress that she couldn’t even zip all the way up the back with 4 inch stiletto heels….hmmmm……we’ve only seen her once since, this time in a black dress – same as the white dress – no floppy hat though.  Ay yi yi!) nor does it equal manners (talking loudly through a good portion of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo movie – ok, I know it’s hard to hear, but seriously, you can’t talk through the whole thing in a filled to capacity theater).

We’re looking forward to our port day tomorrow, but truly, it’s been lovely so far. 

That being said, the one thing we will take away from this adventure is a heaviness in our heart for most of these folks.  Not knowing their circumstances, we can’t generalize, but it seems that most of them shouldn’t be here – they can barely navigate the ship – how will they navigate the ports and the tours?  How much will they truly enjoy this experience?  Could they have done this earlier in life?  Maybe they didn’t have the money, maybe not the time, or maybe just that old “I’ll get to that later” mentality.  Whatever the reason they put off this traveling adventure, its just a shame in our minds that they had to wait this long in their lives to go on this type of a trip.  Bless their hearts for doing it, but we can only think in our heart of hearts that most of these folks would have enjoyed it more if they had done it sooner.

On that last thought we’ll sign off for now from the SS OFH, otherwise known as the Holland America MS Prinsendam.

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